hello, my name is stephanie.

TODAY LAST CHEMISTRY LAB

hopefully if i pass with > or = C

which i am almost certain i will pass.

I am so happy! more than happy.

but i am so drained. super drain-o.

so tired my chem lab teacher guy asked me if i was okay as i walked into the room.. i said 

“yes i am okay but i am just so tired!”

and then i walked away…then i walked back to him and asked him “do i look super horrible?”

and he said “no, you just looked really sad. and wanted to make sure you were okay “

and i said “yo homie mind your own businesses!!” haha jk i said “oh ha yes i haven’t got any sleep and am so tired”  

he said “it is almost over! :] “

i remembered that it was the last chem lab and almost skipped away and continued with the 3 hour lab. 

after a year of chemistry i am glad i won’t have to burn off my flesh with hydrochloric acid or spend so many hours in a room stressing out.

resistance is good, difficulty is good but it takes away all my energy. It weakens me and makes me sleepy and causes me to get random stress/fever blisters . 

CONGRATS to us ! DEVIN, TANYA & NIKI for getting through this year of chemistry! and to devin and tanya i say.. greatest of luck in organic chem (averaging 11 hours a week)! you guys will be the best doctors/researchers ! you guys are extremely hardworking and dedicated. no one really knows the work it takes unless they’ve been through it..but i salute you guys! and for niki and i, well we will try our best to do what we will do.  :] 

fukdapolice asked: Yaaay Stephanie! :) What is your favorite Joanna Newsom song?

I always get excited when you post things about Joanna Newsom, she’s beyond wonderful.

and I’m glad we share the same opinion about her. Euphoria was a perfect word to describe the feeling. 

I really like Go Long.  :] 

makeofthiswhatyouwill asked: Haha no, Guthrie. It was be so cool if Holt invited me though!

I figured it was Mr Guthrie, but i still wanted to ask anyways :] 

that would’ve been so great, but Mr. Guthrie is awesome as well.

I can’t wait to see Nancy.

I received a good grade on my Art History Midterm…..I didn’t expect it since the Professor said she was disappointed in the outcome of the midterms….I guess I am better at expressing my opinions about the significance of a painting more than solving chemistry problems.. about vapor pressure.

The classes are the same, my Art Hiistory Professor used to teach at Harvard and my Chemistry 1c professor is intense. they’re both intense.

I try extremely hard in both classes and only I know how much i do study. In one class my efforts are seen and in the other class all my efforts make me feel like it is all in vain.

 That additional “Excellent!” next to my letter grade was the motivation i needed. 

We need to learn to be self motivating… and hopefully that will one day come naturally to me without extra efforts and motivational quotes splurging through mi mente. 

The worst part is that I am one of the few latin@ students in my chem class.

I am surrounded by biology majors, future doctors and scientists and chemists and maybe a couple of other environmental studies BS majors.

But heck be with it.

It is so much more stressful when you don’t see other latino/latinas sitting in your class.

you begin to think to yourself. why is it? and then also start to think “well maybe i shouldn’t be here either”

I can’t give up, i want to show those that think that have misconceptions about latinos.. that sometimes they are wrong.

What do you think about immigrants?

My father came to this country hiding with the luggage in a bus. Illegally. If it was not for him i would not be here. He was and continues to be the most hardworking man i’ve ever seen. Through his dedication and my mothers struggles they have been able to put me through my first year of college and hopefully if god allows to also pay for my brothers college next fall. 

I need to continue, if not..then i will be wasting everything they have worked for. 

I know the tests are made to weed students out and to discourage so that only a select few are able to become doctors.  I don’t want to be that weed. Im almost there. 

Honestly

do not know what else i can do .

Chemistry i’ve spent hundred if not a thousand of hours studying for midterms that the class average goes as low as 30%  and 55% and going to lectures at 8 in the morning and going to 4 hour chem labs every week for the past year and writing discussions about the lab that mean nothing to me. horrid .

and you screw me over.

These are the last few weeks and I’m forcing myself to try. 

it doesn’t help that you don’t believe me when I’m telling you that i am trying my best.

If i tried any more i would be dead. this is stressful, my body is drained. so drained.

all i want to do is sleep.

This morning i wanted to go Oedipus Rex style, i wanted to poke my flipping eyes out. And still i want to just slap myself left to right.

Chemistry puts a strain on your fucking self esteem.

I guess thats why its called C-hemistry and not B-hemistry or A-hmistry.

there’s a C in front of chemistry for a reason. 

I salute that person that earned a  99.5% on Professor Feldwin’s exam. and for that person that got a 3% on their test, I’m sorry . I do not know what i would do if i was you. But we still have time to try. 

cal-xi-46 asked: Why are you so awesome?!!!!! :D hahaha

haha Miguel Darth Monkey, are you being sarcastic?